Saturday 30 April 2016

Football world in shock as Messi agrees €500m Real Madrid deal (could this be a joke?)


The Barcelona legend will depart Camp Nou this summer after the Spanish champions' greatest rivals activated his €250 million buy-out clause 

Lionel Messi has left Barcelona in turmoil by agreeing to join Real Madrid at the end of the season in a record-breaking five-year deal that will be worth around half a billion euros.

The Argentine forward, winner of five Ballon d'Or awards and considered one of the greatest players of all time, will cost Madrid €250m to buy and approximately the same again in agent fees, commissions and wages.

The move was announced directly before Saturday's Clasico at the Santiago Bernabeu in what appears to have been a deliberate move to destabilise the Liga leaders.

Messi, who joined Barcelona as a 13-year-old, explained that money was the only factor driving his move.

"With Financial Fair Play, Barcelona could not give me what I wanted and deserved," the 28-year-old said at the pre-match press conference. 

"I recommended they fund my contract by selling the Camp Nou, but for some reason they valued the club more than me.

"When I learned this, I was heartbroken and our relationship was finished.

"A man of my status should have a 2000-metre long mega-yacht, staffed and powered at all times. Like [Roman] Abramovich. The purchase and operating costs alone demand that I take home €50m per year after tax. Minimum. Is that too much to ask?"



However, Goal correspondent Garry McGarry obtained exclusive information hinting at other reasons for the move.

"Gerard Pique kept beating Messi at Fifa," McGarry explained in a series of poorly-worded tweets. "Messi hates to lose and became angered when the club refused to replace Pique's left hand with a pirate's hook.

"That was it for the ‘little dictator’, and he has done the unthinkable."

Sources in Madrid have indicated that Messi has also been offered the British Overseas Territory of Gibraltar, "when we get it back after Britain leaves the EU", information which was not confirmed or denied by the Messi camp.

In an official statement released by Real Madrid, Cristiano Ronaldo said he was delighted to welcome Messi aboard and that he was "looking forward to receiving his support from the wing"

Barcelona, meanwhile, continue to be beset by financial difficulties but are expected to replace Messi with Leicester City's Jamie Vardy, who will be mentored by Uruguay star Luis Suarez.

Thursday 28 April 2016

Fulani Herdsmen Killings: Soyinka slams Buhari

soyinka vs Buhari

Nobel laureate, Professor Wole Soyinka, yesterday, slammed President Muhammadu Buhari, over what he described as his government’s seeming inability to contain the violent activities of herdsmen across the country.

In his address to the National Conference on Culture and Tourism, Soyinka said the President Buhari-led government was yet to come up with an articulate solution to tackle the menace, reports Premium Times.

 This came as Fulani herdsmen on Monday unleashed terror on Ukpabi Nimbo, a community in Uzo-Uwani Local Government Area of Enugu State, killing dozens of people.
The attack came weeks after a similar wave of violence by herdsmen in Agatu in Benue State. 

Soyinka said: “I have yet to hear this government articulate a firm policy of non-tolerance for the serial massacres that have become the nation’s identification stamp.”

 “I have not heard an order given that any cattle herders caught with sophisticated firearms be instantly disarmed, arrested, placed on trial, and his cattle confiscated. The nation is treated to an eighteen-month optimistic plan which, to make matters worse, smacks of abject appeasement and encouragement of violence on innocents.

 “Let me repeat, and of course I only ask to be corrected if wrong: I have yet to encounter a terse, rigorous, soldierly and uncompromising language from this leadership, one that threatens a response to this unconscionable blood-letting that would make even Boko Haram repudiate its founding clerics.

‎ “When I read a short while ago, the Presidential assurance to this nation that the current homicidal escalation between the cattle prowlers and farming communities would soon be over, I felt mortified.

 “He had the solution, he said. Cattle ranches were being set up, and in another 18 months, rustlings, destruction of livelihood and killings from herdsmen would be ‘a thing of the past’. 18 months, he assured the nation. I believe his Minister of Agriculture echoed that later, but with a less dispiriting time schema.

 “Neither, however, could be considered a message of solace and reassurance for the ordinary Nigerian farmer and the lengthening cast of victims, much less to an intending tourist to the Forest Retreat of Tinana in the Rivers, the Ikogosi Springs or the moslem architectural heritage of the ancient city of Kano. In any case, the external tourists have less hazardous options.‎”

 Recalling with nostalgia how he – in the company of the late Segun Olusola – journeyed across Nigeria in the pre-war 60’s, mostly out of curiosity, Soyinka said: “But now, would the young adventurous set out to visit the mystery caves of Anambra and its alleged curative pools from mere interest?

 “They would think twice about it. It is not merely arbitrary violence that reigns across the nation but total, undisputed impunity. Impunity evolves and becomes integrated in conduct when crime occurs and no legal, logical and moral response is offered.

‎” Narrating his experience with cattle herders, right at his doorstep, recently, he said: “I returned from a trip outside the country about to find that my home ground had been invaded, and a brand-new ‘Appian way’ sliced through my sanctuary.

 “That ‘motorable’ path was made by the hoofed invaders. Both the improvised entry and exit are now blocked, but interested journalists are invited to visit.

 “In over two decades of living in that ecological preserve, no such intrusion had ever occurred. I have no idea whether they were Fulani or Futa Jalon herdsmen but, they were cattle herders, and they had cut a crude swathe through my private grounds.

 “I made enquiries and sent alerts around, including through the Baale of our neighborhood village. There has been no repeat, and hopefully it will remain the first and last of such invasion. What it portends however is for all thinking citizens to reflect upon, and take concerted measures against.” 

The Nobel laureate noted that herdsmen are among humanity’s earliest known tourists and must be taught a culture of settlement with their hosts.

His words: The leadership of any society cannot stand idly and offer solutions that implicitly deem the massacres of innocents mere incidents on the way to that learning school.

 “For every crime, there is a punishment, for every violation, there must be restitution. The nomads of the world cannot place themselves above the law of settled humanity.”

Five (5) Things to Never do at a Nightclub



The reason why many Lagosians look forward to the weekend is that it’s time to party and indulge! With all the hustling in the city, it is only fair that they get their groove on and they sure know how to do it. 
From Ikeja  to Victoria Island, there are clubs dotted all over the city and you’ll find all sorts of people from the good, the bad and the ugly there so you need have to be careful every step of the way. Jovago.com, Africa’s No. 1 hotel booking portal shares some things you should not do at a nightclub!

Binge-ing on too much alcohol 

The tendency to get carried away at a nightclub is very high. While very few people drink moderately, others drink to stupor and this is where the problem lies. Many fail to ask this singular question: ‘How will I get home if all I get tipsy?’ If you and your friends are so keen on drinking, you can but the driver should stay sober for the safety of everyone. 

Hitting on other women 


If you want to survive a Lagos nightclub, it is better to go with your woman. Alternatively, if you do not want any trouble, you should avoid women that are obviously with their guys. This is because very few guys will take it lightly with you if they find out that you are hitting on their woman. This always happens at nightclubs. 

Not having your gate pass 


Ever encountered the huge bouncers that mount the gates of these night clubs? The way they throw out mischievous persons on their shoulders will definitely embarrass you. If you do not want to experience any of this, you should know that some clubs accept gate passes and you can either buy your pass online or get it at the club premises. 

Refusing to dance 


The club is not a place for observing others while sipping your drink. To get the best out of the club you have to step on the dance floor and shake your body to the tunes blaring from the big speakers. For the ladies, guys will always come around to ask for a dance. It is better to accept gladly or politely reject their request. You will not like to know what happens if you rudely reject a dance request. 

Doing everything you see 


The nightclub is free-for-all. Everyone is free to whatever they want. You dress irresponsibly, drink and smoke as much as you want. But whatever you do ensure that you do not get influenced by the happenings around especially for persons visiting the club for the first time.

Vanguard.com