In the observation of most marriage counselors in Nigeria, it is
believed that sex plays a major factor. Most times, however, women are
blamed for denying their husbands of this fun .
But while men
will always be ready to pull the triggers of their guns where this issue
is concerned, they often fail to consider the real different factors
that may be responsible for this.
For instance, years of staying
together often times make sex a routine for many. To many men, and
perhaps women, sex has become an instant thing whereby, the man just
climbs the woman, do some familiar press-ups and gets up.
This type of approach and practice makes sex, instead of exciting, somehow repulsive.
For
the man, it is easy to get aroused and get move into the act of sex
instantly, but not for the woman. The woman needs to be drawn into the
mood both mentally and physically, and that takes a process; a gradual
process. That gradual process is what is known as foreplay.
Of
course, foreplay comes handy here.It is, no doubt, very important to
having sex. It prepares the two parties for the excitement and takes
them through the process of arousal to the real action –sex. It is the
process that creates introduces the match stick, strikes it, light the
fire and continue to fan it until the fire goes wild. A foreplay session
makes intercouse very rewarding and fulfilling. Ask those that have
adhered to the rule religiously and they will tell you.
Foreplay
does not only start when you are locked up with your spouse in the room.
For a lovemaking that will take place in the night, the foreplay can
start in the morning. That gentle touch that you give you spouse is a
foreplay; it strikes a chord in him or her and makes her feel somehow
horny. That gentle kiss that you give her is part of the foreplay
because it creates some excitement in her. That hand that you slip up
her thigh while watching a movie together is another one. It has its own
effect.
Let us focus on the situation where you are locked up with that woman in the room and sex is the issue.
You
have been told that the rule forbids you hopping on her and grinding
away as if she is some godforsaken horse. Then, what do you do?
Undress
her, but not in a hurry. A gentle and slow process of removing her
blouse and exposing her Bosom cupped up in the bra would be
interesting. Just as she feels the clothes leaving her body, the
exposure gives you a kind excitement. The same goes for you unzipping
her trousers which reveals her panties. Removing her pants and even the
bra very gently and slowly will also forma part of the arousal
techniques.
Go gentle, go smooth, go slow. Being very rough and
fast can prevent you from achieving the desired result. Smooth and
gentle kissing of some parts of her body will certainly blow her. Doing
it gently will make her melt in your hand and want you to remain at the
point for eternity.
Don’t go for the kill immediately. You may be
familiar with the most sensitive part of your partner, but that does
not mean you should go for it immediately. It will only show you as one
who is desperate. For instance, don’t go “attacking” the Bosom
immediately you have her naked before you. You may go for the hair, the
legs, the ear lobe, the neck and other erogenous zones. Having warmed
her up to an extent, you can then go for the Bosom or the neck which
are usually very sensitive.
Talk dirty; pay compliments. It is
not usually always about touching; it is also about talking. Talking
dirty and in moderation would have its own effect. Telling her how sexy
she looks would excite her and bring her deeper into the session.
Don’t
be stagnant. Staying in a spot for too long will create boredom. Even
when you know that a particular spot excites her, you don’t have to
confine yourself to the spot. Simply go to other areas and return to
that spot as many times as you can.
Be in control. You need to be
in charge of the game, not forcefully though. Let her know the position
you want her; tell her to opeen or close her eyes if need be –this
could be done by gently closing her eyes gently; whether she should look
at you or do something else.
Get down. Going down to the main
area of attraction is not out of play. All you need to do is to be
gentle as you rub her thigh up, using your nose, fingers and the whole
of you.
Lubricate her: Going through foreplay will achieve
something: Lubricate her. Therefore, make sure that she is well
lubricated before you finish up your foreplay. Having achieved that,
then you can go on to sex.
Beyond all of the above, however, is
the place of peace of mind in all of these. A woman who is bothered with
a lot of unaccomplished desires and projects is likely to be
insensitive to a man’s love gesture. It is therefore important that men
go the extra mile to make their wives happy and settled mind to have
them welcome them with all open hands and all. We all know that a merry
heart is capable of great adventures. A word is supposed to be enough
for the wise.
